This One’s for the Ladies

August 30, 2010

I spend all my time writing about technology and other nerdy stuff so this is a total departure from my norm. I’m about to go all girly on you so feel free to laugh and point, I won’t mind.

First, the back story: I’m a total tomboy and would happy to sack a quarterback by facemasking the crap out of him and taking the personal foul while laughing all the way to the sidelines. On the other hand, I own about 40 pair of shoes, 50 purses, and am typing this with the tips of my fuchsia-painted fingernails. I’m a bit of an oxymoron, but I’m fine with that. The fact that I’m about to write about making up is kind of making me want to slap myself in embarrassment, but I want to share something.

About two months ago, a company named Cilea Lash started following me on Twitter and we started chatting. I remember it because I mentioned I was nervous about an upcoming date and someone from the account wished me luck. I didn’t even know what the product was, but I immediately liked their social interaction — no selling, just conversation. I checked out what they had to offer and was intrigued — an all-natural lash growth product that’s a lot like the stuff Brook Shields promotes on TV. I added Cilea Lash to my wish list and kind of forgot about it.

Around a month ago, the company offered me a free tube of Cilea Lash and I accepted. No strings attached, no promises to write about their product, no nothing. Just a straight up offer to try it out for a while. Two things occurred to me when they extended the offer: First, this stuff is never going to work. Second, I spend six days a week writing my guts out for pay, I’ll never find the time to give them free advertising. But, hey, I thought, if they want to send me this stuff anyway, fine by me.

I was wrong on both counts.

I’m finding the time to write about Cilea Lash because, holy crap, this stuff works. My lashes have always been long, but they’re not particularly thick. After a month of use, I see lashes growing in and filling the empty spaces between my existing lashes — but that’s not the coolest part. Check it: My eyelashes are now so long they actually catch in my eyebrows. How awesome is that?

Aside from using Cilea Lash, I haven’t changed another thing in my makeup routine. I still use the same mascara (Great Lash!), haven’t changed eye cream, or otherwise altered anything I use on or around my eyes for months. My elongated lashes have to be the result of Cilea Lash. It’s certainly not from wishful thinking — if I had that kind of power, I’d have lost my thigh-jiggle.

Cilea Lash is dead simple to use: just apply a layer at the lashline on clean skin once a day. Though it’s meant for upper lashes, I’ve also been putting on my lower lashline and I now I can’t apply mascara all the way to their tips because I end up with little mascara dots under both of my eyes. It looks a little like Morse code, and it is not at all sexy.

About the only thing I’d change about Cilea Lash is that it would dry more quickly. I tend to sleep with my makeup on quite often (I know, I know), so I usually apply the product in the morning. It takes a while to absorb so I sometimes can’t do my eye makeup right away. On the other hand, I suspect it would need some alcohol help dry more quickly and I’d rather have my booze in a martini than millimeters from my cornea, so the drying time is a small price to pay for, y’know, vision.

If you know me at all, you know my ethics won’t allow me to take so much as a pencil in exchange for writing good things about a product. Yes, Cilea Lash gave me a free tube to try, but they did so knowing that if I thought it sucked monkey fur, I was going to say so. Happily, that’s not the case, though. I love this stuff and I’m saying so in the same vein I tweet about the other things I have strong opinions on (everything!).

So, now you know. If you’ve ever thought about trying a lash-lengthening product but worried the hype was just a bunch of sales talk — you might be right. I have no idea about other similar products but I can tell you Cilea Lash worked for me. I’m going to keep applying it until my lashes get long enough to trip the wide receiver the next time I play tackle football.


How Twitter Stole My Blogging Mojo

July 27, 2010

I was talking to someone today who asked for the link to my personal blog. Now, as a freelance writer and professional blogger, you’d think maintaining a personal blog would be a no-brainer. After all, words come easy, minimal editing required, and I can pick whatever topic I want. The reality is, my personal blog is the very last thing to get my attention. I ignore it like a bad pick-up line.

I’d love to give lots of exciting reasons for why I seldom update this thing. I’m busy! (True.) You already know everything I think on Twitter. (Also true.) It’s hard to fit it in while I’m training for that upcoming triathlon. (I’m sorry, have we met?)

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I don’t post here very much, and why I want to do so more often. Yes, it’s true, I’m really, really busy. However, I still find time to watch Glee (for the music) and Burn Notice (for the, um, plot lines…), so I can’t be that busy. I’m gonna blame some of why I don’t post much on the force that is Twitter.

Bloggers love feedback on what they write but commenting on blogs has fallen out of favor mainly, I think, because everyone’s pressed for time these days. Fair enough, I’m guilty of not leaving comments on many of the awesome blogs I read. When I post something on Twitter, I get instant feedback (or, deafening silence, which speaks volumes, too.) I’m able to get a dialogue going and, let’s face it, I love to hear myself talk. Deal with it. It’s fun to talk to people about what I think on Twitter, rather than blog about it into the vast echo chamber.

It’s also tough for me to write personal blog posts because, typically, I get far more, well, personal. True, I let a lot hang out on Twitter and, if you care to read between the lines, you can learn a lot more about me than you think. But, over the years, personal blogging has been a sort of catharsis for me. Now that my children are older and read my stuff, coupled with the professional online presence I have, it’s harder to get overly personal about my life.

Sidebar before we move on: This post has enough parenthetical comments to make an English teacher stab me with a quill. Tough crap.

So, why do I want to post more here? It’s not because the Internet needs more of my content, that’s for sure. It’s also not because I think anyone would hang on every word I write, or pine longingly for my next post. No, I want to write here more because writing is what keeps me sane.
Blogging has helped me immeasurably over the years keep my perspective, and sometimes my sanity. (Okay, yeah, the sane train left the station years ago. Humor me.) It’s also the only place I can let my guard down when I write. I don’t have to worry about SEO, phrasing, editors, typos, congruency of ideas, fact-checking, mis-quoting, objectivity, or any of the other 10,000 things a professional writer needs to be concerned with. See? I can even end my sentences with a dangling participle. (Yeah, that might not technically be a dangling participle, but you get the idea, so shaddup). Personal blogging means I can be myself, I can choose my words less carefully, and just be myself. That’s fun.

As many of my writer friends say about their personal blogs, it’s the cobbler’s children who often go shoeless. When you’re immersed in writing for a living, it’s hard to take the time to do it for yourself. When you spend your days relaying other people’s information to readers, you lose sight of the ability to relay your own information to others. When you’re staring down the barrel of seven deadlines, it’s hard to justify writing something that isn’t going to pay the bills. When blogging is a job, it’s difficult to also have it as a hobby.

That said, I’ve found myself missing my poor, neglected blog. So, here I am. I’m not sure how often I’ll post, or what kind of content I’ll bring, but I’ll stop ignoring it quite so much. I know, I know… you’re just giddy in anticipation. Cut the crap, I know most of you and I’m sure you’ve checked Twitter four times since you started reading this. I’ll still be there,  giving you crap and goofing off when I should be working.

But I’ll write here, too. Sometimes, what I have to say is  just too much for 140.


My Non-Review Movie Review: The A-Team

June 14, 2010
I mentioned on Twitter last night that I went to see The A-Team. A lot of people asked me to tell them about it so I figured I'd just write something up quick for you all. First, I don't review movies because what I take away from flicks will be far different than what other people will; second, I'm no film expert so, you know, there's that.

Next, a confession — although I'm of the generation that grew up watching the original A-Team, I don't remember a damn thing about it. I must have liked it at the time because I watched pretty much every episode, but I don't remember why I liked it. At least I had no pre-conceived ideas of how the movie should have been so that's probably one of the reasons I liked it.

More reasons:

1. Explosions. Lots and lots of explosions.

2. The dialogue was freakin' hilarious. No, seriously, it was laugh-out-loud funny (that's "LOL" for all you hipsters).

3. It had a pretty well thought out, if somewhat improbable, plot.

4. It was kid-friendly so I'll be able to take my boys to see it without covering their eyes or ears. (Parents, there are a few curse words but nothing over the top.)

5. Did I mention the dialogue was a scream?

Some things that weren't so great:

1. Heavy on the CGI. I mean, some parts of the movie were so loaded down with special effects they might as well not bothered hiring actors and just CGI'd them in, too.

2. Jessica Biel is just the worst actress ever. Well, maybe not ever, and maybe she's better in other movies (not sure what else I've seen her in), but my cat has more flair hacking up a hairball flair than this chick delivering her lines.

3. Some things in the movie were just outlandish and took creative licensing too far. For instance, after a particularly harrowing situation, the guys are covered in blood, sweat, and god knows what else in the middle of nowhere. The very next scene cuts to them at a nearby airport wearing $1,000 suits. Was there a Men's Wearhouse somewhere in the back forty that they forgot to show?

4. This is not high cinema, folks. If you're looking for a deep movie that will change you, see something else. This film just flings humor and explosions in your general direction for two hours and leaves you as empty-headed as you were when you went in. If you were empty-headed to begin with. Which you aren't. I love you all.

5. The cheese factor is off the charts. How these actors delivered some of these lies without smacking themselves in the face for being dorks, I will never know.

6. B.A.'s epiphany halfway through the movie is utterly ridiculous.

Some random stuff:

1. Nothing beats bright orange popcorn salt. If the concession stand only has regular table salt, get Milk Duds instead.

2. Based on the trailers we saw before the movie, don't expect much in the way of good flicks this summer. *yawn* Except for this one. This one looks awesome! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0446029/

3. Don't wear a low-cut blouse when your date is 6'7". It's roughly the equivalent of having someone looking down at you while standing on a table. He was the perfect gentleman but I was so self-conscious I almost cut a new shirt out of the popcorn bags and a handful of napkins.

4. Stay til the end of the credits. Trust me.

5. The plot sets the stage for a sequel.

So that's my take on The A-Team, for what it's worth. Now you see why I review software and not movies — Roger Ebert, I'm not. Who else out there saw the movie? What'd you think? 


Too Many Phone Numbers!

June 3, 2010
Okay, here's the phone number issue I'm trying to solve. I have:

1) A land line because the cell signal in my house sucks.

2) A cell phone with a number assigned by T-Mobile.

3) A Google Voice number.

When I give someone my number, I give out the GV number. If they text me, they get the reply from my T-Mo number. Not a huge deal, right? But then when I reply from my keyboard, it's coming from my GV number. Okay, not the end of the world, but still confusing to the recipient.

Now, add to this issue that I often return calls from my land line because of my cell signal issue. Now they've got THREE numbers to track with me. No one knows where to call or text me and it's irritating for all concerned.

I'm not willing to give up my GV # because, even though it would be easier on the people I talk to, 1) I need to be able to quickly text from my keyboard, not poke around on my iPhone all day, 2) I can answer via email and, 3) GV organizes and archives my texts which is awesome beyond compare.

Is there some easier solution I'm overlooking? I can't be the only person trying to deal with this. I text a lot. I mean, a LOT, so my main concern is streamlining the numbers that the people on the other end have to deal with. Whoever solves this for me gets a cookie!

 


Allow Me to Clear Something Up

May 21, 2010
People often say (and someone said to me last night) "when someone is happy on Twitter things must suck IRL." Not true for me. Some of you know something very unpleasent happened to me a couple weeks ago but I assure you, I AM FINE. Happy, even, because life is choices and I CHOOSE to be happy. I have the love of my children, amazing and supportive friends, a beautiful home, an incredible career, and a fantastic future. I have nothing to be unhappy about and what you see on Twitter is 100% me. When I'm pissed, you know it. When I'm sad, I say it. When I'm happy, I mean it.

Life is full of speedbumps, it's how you approach them that speaks to a person's character. As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I'm a character. :)


Feeling Like I Dodged a Bullet

January 28, 2010
My mother instilled a healthy fear of strangers in me while I was growing up. She made a point of teaching me hyper-vigilance about my home and personal space without managing to freak me out about the human race in general. I've spent the better part of 12 years trying to instill those concepts in my kids and, as any parent will tell you, it's not easy.

As an adult, I'm not afraid to talk to stranger — I rather enjoy it, actually. When it comes to protecting my home and family, however, it's a different story. I won't open the door to strangers and, frankly, don't give a crap if I offend a well-meaning adult or not by making then talk to the through the door.  When it comes to service calls, no one gets past the threshold, even if I'm expecting you. When I go to someone's house and a child who doesn't know me throws the door open and welcomes me in, I'm truly horrified. 

Shortly before moving out the the area last fall, I had some service done on the cable connection in my house. The following day, a man showed up in a technician's outfit claiming he needed to do a "Quality Assurance" check so I asked him for ID before letting him in. He started acting weird and took off. I called my cable company to see what the hell and they said they absolutely did not send anyone — that's not their standard practice, especially without and appointment.

Even after moving away, I've remained on the neighborhood watch email list. Today the group was notified that the local police department is investigating a rash of similar instances across the town. Needless to say, I'm both freaked out and relieved. I like to think that if I'd let the guy in that day, he would have cased the place and returned when I wasn't home to collect all my electronics and stuff. Of course, if he was up to no good there's no way of telling what could have happened.

I have a couple of reasons for relaying this story. First, we spend a lot of time teaching our kids to be careful and never open the door to strangers but it's easy to become complacent as adults. Second, I felt compelled to share it for the same reason that people say, "If I'd left five minutes later, I might have been home when the tree fell on the house."

Ever find out after the fact that you narrowly missed being the victim of a crime? I'd like to hear your experiences.


When Bad Things Happen to Good People

January 17, 2010

A good friend’s house burns down.

Another friend gets laid off.

A third loses a family member unexpectedly.

These people are kind, giving, funny, charitable, sweet, family-oriented individuals who have given their time, money, and heart for the things they believe in. They have my unending respect for the things they done, ways they’ve given back to the world around them, and, in one case, gotten through a couple of health scares that would have left me in a straightjacket.

I’m really, really tired of seeing bad things happen to good people who’ve done nothing to deserve the short straws they’ve drawn recently. I know we all have to each endure our own ration of lousy luck in this world, but the naive side of me always hopes that people who make the extra effort to be generous in thought, word, or deed will get a free pass from tragedy or heartbreak.

Sadly, this isn’t always so.

If the powers that be need a list of people who are more deserving of crap like losing a job or having their homes burn to the ground, I’m more than happy to provide it.


Your Daily Bun

December 11, 2009


Your Daily Bun: Twofer Thursday

December 10, 2009


Your Daily Bun

December 10, 2009

I'm pretty sure Cosmo thought he was invisible. I didn't have the heart to break it to him.