Sharp Corners

When insurance companies make me mad, I think everyone should know.

Michelle wrote a really interesting post about doing crazy scary unwise things when she was young and wonders how she survived childhood. She contrasted that to how closely she monitors her own kids and decided that "it’s a different world these days."

How true.

I grew up smack in the middle of downtown Chicago and was riding public transportation to school alone at a very young age. My mother tells me that, back then, if I fell asleep in the convertible on the way to her parents’ house, it was nothing to leave me sleeping in car with the top down (I disagree with the notion she was leaving me out there so gypsies would abscond with me). Do I think my mother was careless? Of course not, I think it really was a different time back then (we’re talking 25 years ago).

These days, when children are being abducted faster than Amber Alerts can be issued, I can barely stand to let my seven year old get the mail without trailing behind him. I have a seven foot privacy fence surrounding my backyard and a Great Dane in residence, yet I still compulsively check to see what’s happening when the kids are out back. I realize there’s a fine line between protecting your children and over-protecting your children. Will I find it before they’re thirty?

The boys’ school takes safety very seriously: A drivers license is required to go anywhere but the office during school hours. You must agree to fingerprinting and a background check if you wish to volunteer in the classroom. Children will not be released to anyone but a parent unless a ream of paperwork is on file. After first bell, the doors are locked and no one goes in or out except through the Main Office. I’ll tell you, it’s like Fort Knox over there. And yet, parents complain. After filling out emergency contact information in triple-triplicate for the fourth time yesterday, I mentioned to the school secretary that I was impressed with the school’s thoroughness. She thanked me profusely because, according to her, all she hears are complaints from parents who "don’t want the hassle."

Is it really a more unsafe world than 25 years ago or does it just seem that way for today’s parents? Are the extra precautions we take with our children warranted or have we just becomes skittish in the wake of highly publicized news stories? I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t care. To coin a phrase: better safe than…well, you know.

CORRECTION: My mother has informed me that the incident in the convertible actually occurred nearly thirty-five years ago. Excuse me for a while so I can go pluck my grey hairs and find myself a sturdy cane. I’m suddenly feeling very old.

Over the weekend, I was gnawing my way through a bowl of salsa and chips when I decided I was thirsty. I offhandedly mentioned to J that I was going in the kitchen to get my chocolate milk and he recoiled as if I suggested I was considering sucking my beverage directly from a cow’s teat. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that mixing milk and salsa would mean setting myself up for certain gastro-intestinal failure. The two elements were surely going to curdle in my stomach, he reasoned, and cause me to explode like Mr. Creosote.

J and I debated endlessly about the validity of his assessment of my dietary intake until he finally urged me to "google it." I did and, may I say,…

Neener, neener, neener.

Not only was there no mention of the hazards of chugging milk after eating spicy salsa, it turns out to be a remedy for pepper-scalded tongues.

If J can’t stand the sight of that particular food combination, what would he think of my lunch today? Kraft Mac & Cheese with peas and Open Pit Barbecue Sauce. Mmmmm.

Darren Rowse of ProBlogger fame suggests that bloggers should use the month of August to build a better blog. Darren is asking fellow bloggers to submit their tips on what we find works for us so here’s my list. He and the other readers have astounded me at their tremendous insight and terrific ideas. At the end of his series, if he doesn’t gather all this great information and publish it as a whole somewhere, I will eat my keyboard.

Everyone always writes their list of "do’s" and I’m feeling contrary this morning so how about a list of "don’ts"?

1) Don’t underestimate the power of comments – One of the best things about blogging is getting comments on your posts but it also presents one of blogging’s biggest challenges. Like getting a truckload of emails in your inbox, naturally you want to reply to each one but real life has a way of infringing upon a blogger’s time to answer each one personally. I suggest that you make the time because when someone takes the time to comment on your posts, often what they are really saying is, "Hey, I noticed you. Will you stop by my blog and notice me?" It’s a great way to build links and, more important, build blogging relationships. That said, I need to take a dose of my own medicine. Over the last couple of months, I have not been as diligent at commenting on other blogs (or responding to reader’s comments) as I should and I can see the (unfortunate) difference in my stats.

2) Don’t agonize over your stats – One day your blog may get 406 hits, another day there may only be 46. Try to look at the big picture and focus on the long term goals of return readership (easier said than done, I know). I completely understand that low stats are disheartening. Who among us doesn’t want to wake up tomorrow morning and discover that we’ve overloaded Sitemeter’s servers? The fact is, building readership takes time. Lots and lots of time. And did I mention it takes a long time? There are loads of great articles out there about how to increase traffic to your blog. Spend more time reading those and less time staring at your stats. It will all come together, eventually. I promise.

3) Don’t forget to revisit topics that have generated lots of comments in the past – If your post on the seasonal shedding habits of Royal Persian Chinchillas generated the highest amount of comments you’ve ever had, consider writing a similar post on the same topic. I’m not encouraging you to repeat yourself just for the sake of traffic, I’m suggesting that you go with what you know works. If your readers are interested in a certain topic, run with it.

4) Look for unique places to link your blog – For example, many local newspapers now have their own blogs and will often link to those of area bloggers as well. Look around for unusual places to get your blog listed. Have you written an article on "1,001 Uses For Flypaper"? Contact the National Coalition for Proper Flypaper Implementation and offer your article in exchange for a link.

5) Don’t be afraid to take chances – Because it’s a topic that’s being talked to death in the media these days, blogging may seem like it’s been around forever but, really, it’s still in it’s adolescence. Lots of great thinkers on the subject have been trying to pinpoint where blogging is going but, the truth is, nobody really knows. Trends are just now being spotted and established so go ahead and take some risks. If your primary readership tends to canonize the Green Bay Packers, it’s probably not wise to suddenly extol the virtues of the Chicago Bears. If, however, you usually write satire, try branching out into personal essays. Do you have a photo blog? How about peppering some posts with other types of art? Get creative but remember to try and strike a balance between what keeps your readers coming back in the first place and what might attract some new ones.

6) Don’t forget to have fun – Enough said.