I’ve been dreaming every night that I’ve gone blind. Except for that one night where I had stickers pasted directly onto my eyeballs and the doctors told there was nothing they could do for me. Unless I wanted to be blind, that is.
I’ve run this past a few people and, of course, everyone keeps telling me to Google "dream interpretation" so I did. Since I don’t put much stock in dream analysis, forgive me for being snarky as I relate the top two reasons for dreaming of blindness.
- This site tells us that "With a dream like this, it is questionable whether or not the dreamer feels competent to fulfill his duties in waking life."
- This site (winner of the No Shit, Sherlock Award) says "Blindness in a dream suggests that the dreamer may be unwilling to see some aspect of his life."
The rest of the sites I looked at seem to be mostly variations on the same (except for the one that equates blindness with impotence. Does. Not. Apply).
Do I feel that perhaps I can’t fulfill my duties in waking life? Sure. Don’t we all feel like that at times? I feel pulled in several directions, both personally and professionally, but that’s okay. It means things are happening. For example, I have many different writing projects going on right now, each one requiring its own distinct tone and voice. It’s hard to switch back and forth between funny and serious, objective and opinionated. But, what, I’d rather not write at all? Nope. Not a chance.
As for that other thing, that suggestion that I may not be willing to fully examine some aspect of my life. Well…that could be. I’ve been fidgeting over an as-yet-unposted blog entry I wrote the other day that addresses this very thing. I’ve sat on it thus far because: A) it referenced a motion I filed against my ex-husband in court and I haven’t wanted to mention it until a date was set and B) it’s so freakin’ personal. Even for me.
In part, it talks about how very restless I am lately. No, maybe intolerant is a better word. I’ve find myself standing my ground, mentally, if not always outwardly, against people who insist their way is the only way. That is just not reality and I can no longer pretend that it is. Example: this motion against my ex-husband that I mentioned. We have gone around and around on a matter that seems to be beyond resolution. In the past, I would have simply let him have his way to avoid the hassle of dealing with his wrath. I finally realized just how preposterous that was and am now getting the matter settled once and for all, his wrath be damned. And, you know what? It feels great. Court does not feel great to me, standing up for myself and my children does.
I recently ended a friendship with someone who was contributing nothing worthwhile to my life and was, in fact, dragging me down with her constant whining and petulance. Ending a friendship did not feel good, standing up for myself felt great.
And so it goes. I continue to find more and more little ways to liberate myself. If I wanted to stay locked under the weight of other people’s wishes and desires, I would have stayed married. I would have stayed in that friendship.
So what am I not looking at about my life that’s manifesting itself in my dreams? Hard to say. Perhaps I’m afraid that I won’t know when to apply the brakes and may continue to cut back the thorny branches in my life until the whole bush falls over. Perhaps I fear becoming so independent that I forget there are people who do want what I have to give. One thing I do know: in my dreams, I’m always frantic about my loss of sight. I’m always rubbing at my eyes, trying to get them back in focus. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.
Posted by Lisa Hoover 
