My great pal Dave Caolo started a blogging round-robin of sorts and wants to know what songs we hate to admit loving (because, you know, that’s what I always look for in a friend — a willingness to encourage me to embarrass myself to death). I let him and a some other bloggers go first to I could get a good laugh sense of what people were saying, but I can’t put off my part in this any longer. Here you have it. Mock me at will.
Kiss, by Prince – It’s an utterly stupid song, filled with all shrill squeaking His Purpleness could muster. It’s the line, “Act your age, momma, not your shoe size” that does it for me.
Pass the Dutch, by Missy Elliott – Oh, dear god, this song has so much wrong with it that it’s hard to know where to start. First of all, the lyrics vacillate between stupid and nearly obscene. Second, it’s melody has less range than The Alphabet Song. Third, if you play it in your car with the windows down, it’s guaranteed to offend or off-put anyone in 15 mile radius. But it has a great beat and you can dance to it.
Bittersweet Symphony, by The Verve – I like this song so much that it’s one of the first tunes I put on my new BlackBerry. Of course, I’m the only one on the planet who likes this whiny, repetitious, nonsensical, emo song (“It’s just a bittersweet symphony, this life / Tryin’ to make ends meet, trying find some money / Then you die). I’ll bet even the lead singer’s mother hates this song.
Leather and Lace, by Stevie Nicks and Don Henley – I really have no explanation for this except I’m a child of the ’80s and at some point I thought maybe I could hit the same notes as Stevie. Or Don, I really can’t remember.
I Would Walk 500 Miles, by The Proclaimers – This one I can’t help but love. It’s an earworm, through and through.
Desert Rose, by Cheb Mami and Sting – Cheb’s yodeling and caterwauling is what drives most people away from this song, and draws me right to it. I think it sounds lyrical and haunting — at least the first minute or so. Then it’s annoying and ear-splitting.
Paradise by the Dashboard Light, by Meatloaf – This song has cropped up over and over at various times in my life for thirty years. That, my friends, is longevity. And, mysteriously, it never really sounds any better than it did the first 900 times I heard it in 1978. But, tell me, if you grew up with this song are you even slightly capable of not yelling, “STOP RIGHT THERE!!!” if it comes on when no one’s around? Side note: prepare to feel old.
These were in no particular order because, really, there’s no rhyme or reason to how one goes about humiliating themselves, right?
Lest I humiliate you further: Purple Rain, Carol King’s ENTIRE Tapestry album, M. Jackson’s Billy Jean. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head (your first favorite). I could go on & on. Between us, we probably still have all of the vinyls. Remember those things that are now turned into bowls?