My 2012 will be happiest if these phrases stop appearing in my Twitter timeline:
1. “Like a boss” – Unless you are the actual boss of eating Twinkies, playing chess, or finding a parking place. In that case, carry on, but first please tell me what the job requirements are for that position and who’s doing the hiring. Do you get a 401k with that?
2. “That awkward moment when…” – You mean the awkward moment when you discover I threw a flaming brick at my monitor so I didn’t have to read that overused string of words ever again?
3. Any reference to how much you hate Mondays – I believe @JustinRyan sums it up best.
4. “RT to win!” – Asking customers to retweet something so they can do your brand marketing for you is taking the lazy way out. Exception: Home-based businesses and sole proprietors. You get a pass because you don’t have deep-pocketed marketing departments whose employees are out to lunch when they ought to be building customer relationships.
5. “RT @ AnyoneEver “ZOMG, ur product is teh bomb!’” – Companies who retweet 48 customer-praise tweets in a row yet never interact with their customer base should leave Twitter immediately because you’re doing it wrong. So wrong.
On the plus side, I’m continually amazed at how wonderful the Twitter community-at-large is. The people I follow make me laugh until I can’t breathe, cough up quick answers when I need them, and are some of the all-around coolest people on the planet. I love Twitter and have an affection for the people there that probably qualifies me for some sort of virtual Baker Act.
What do you hope never to see on Twitter again? Tell me.